Saturday, November 5, 2011

Just a Quick Translation For Your Amusement

What's up y'all???

Not much going on here, just hanging out on the computer at the V-Dealership waiting for the day to be over so I can go relax for the evening. By relax I mean sit BACK in front of the computer and continue working on all this "school crap".

A lot of you already know this, but for those of you that don't, I'm going to be unemployed in 2 months and will be returning to a higher learning institution (high school with ashtrays) to further my education. I've already turned in my notice at the vagina den. [insert shameless plug begging you to click on the ads on my blog so I can have money HAHAHA]

"But why, Phoebe?" you might ask, "why would you let go of the one thing that brings you so much joy? Looking at the vajajay!"

Well, my loyal fans, I am also brought joy by money. I would like some. I am poor. My laptop is dying (so I have to blog at the workplaces), I need new sweaterdresses (and perhaps a few more pairs of shoes), and my cats require more expensive food so they'll stop eating my flip flops for fiber. So.... I'm going back to school. I'm still working out the financial aid BS, but I've been accepted at one of the local colleges for my general ed stuff I need to get into a program. I need to make an appointment with a counselor and then I go back for my pre-requisites and start applying for nursing programs. I've been putting this off for a while, but I feel that I probably need a bachelor's degree if I'm going to snag me a rich man. I have the boobs, I do my best to resemble Barbie (tm), I wear too much make-up, spend too much time on my hair, and I'm working on the shoe collection... all I need is a piece of paper that says "I'm really not using you for your paycheck. Really. I promise... Can I stop working now?"

I haven't found Mr. Right Now yet, so I'm still looking... in between looking at dating sites and sugar-daddy offers online of course... I'm still working on my response to a real winner I found, but as all my friends are spurning me for my friend's blog on homeless people    http://seanthomasphoto.blogspot.com/  I thought I'd have to throw something up here to counter his monopolizing of my audience.

Yesterday's translation seemed to amuse many of my friends, so I'm going to offer this up as something to tide you over while I work on my real post.

Post I found today:

i miss holding a woman tight in my arms. spooning under the covers, keeping each other warm on a cold night. watching a good movie while cuddling in bed and maybe falling asleep in each others arms.

im not looking for sex or a hook up.. but a friend and snuggle buddy would be great.

me: 27 year old white male. in shape, handsome, funny and a great snuggler!

What a woman reads when she reads this ad:

i miss can't live without holding a woman tight in my arms while whispering sweet nothings about how amazing she is in every way and how jealous all her friends are of her. spooning under the covers after I bring her wine and snacks and light a fire and rub her back, keeping each other her warm on a cold night even when she puts her cold feet on my warm legs. watching a good phenomenal movie about true love that she picked out while cuddling in bed and maybe her falling asleep in each others my arms I will of course be on my back with her head on my shoulder so she can be comfortable and my arm can fall asleep.

im not looking for sex or a hook up because what I'm really interested in is your strength of character and personality.. but a friend (my only one) and snuggle buddy (every second I'm not working or doing nice things for you) would be great the best thing that ever happened to me!!!

me: 27 year old white (but very tan) male. in AMAZING shape (you can do laundry on my abs), handsome (I make George Clooney look homely), funny (I do stand-up as a hobby when I'm not saving the world and feeding the homeless) and a great snuggler (You'll sell your snuggie after I'm done with you)!


What our handsome Adonis was actually saying was:

i miss holding a woman tight in my arms. spooning under the covers, keeping each other warm on a cold night. watching a good porn movies while cuddling in bed and maybe falling asleep in each others arms.

im not looking for sex or a hook up.. but a friend and snuggle buddy would be great okay until I find someone that will put out or I can get you drunk enough to let me put my penis in you.

me: 27 year old white I have a computer monitor tan male there's a penis somewhere amidst the forest of pubes I've never groomed, I'm sure of it. in A shape (resembling a circle), handsome (if you ask my grandma), funny looking and a great snuggler (At least my teddy bear seems to like it)!


There you have it! I will have something else for you at some point in the next few days, but I needed to take a little brain break while I work on the real thing.

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