Yet Another Reason Why I Should Never Date

So, as most of you know, I have a slight problem with my phone...

I'm always on it. 

There are multiple reasons for this, but the most obvious one is that I like my men like I like my vacations: Hot, Last Forever, and FAR AWAY. (No, let's not analyze this). Because of this, I spend a large portion of my life texting. And, since people apparently have things to do OTHER THAN AMUSE ME while I'm at work, this is generally what happens when I text someone...

Rinse and repeat.