Friday, June 22, 2012

More Translations

So today, I was scanning through the "I saw you" sections and came across this particular posting:

Whenever I see you at work I wish I could tell you that I think you're a really amazing beautiful person. It hurts that you hate me so much, what did I ever do for you to hate me so much. I think it's because you're scared of your attraction to me and you feel like I'll reject you if you try to open up so you put up this huge wall. It's too bad cuz you and I could be real good together. 


And I was thinking, "hmm... this is an interesting ad. I think it needs a little deciphering though, as I don't think he's being completely honest with the object of his obsess... er... AFFECTION."

Whenever I see you at work I wish I could tell you that I think you're a really amazing beautiful person.
When I peek over the cubicle wall at you while you're trying to accomplish your daily workload I often think about what you'd look like naked tied up in my basement.
 It hurts that you hate me so much, what did I ever do for you to hate me so much.
I can't believe you weren't flattered when I sent you inter-office e-mails of my penis. I don't understand why you don't love me.
 I think it's because you're scared of your attraction to me and you feel like I'll reject you if you try to open up so you put up this huge wall.
You obviously want me. I can tell by the way you run screaming down the halls. That restraining order was just your way of foreplay.
It's too bad cuz you and I could be real good together. 
By "together" I mean you locked in an secret, sound-proofed apartment I built into the attic of my house where I can check on you once a day to see if you've change your mind regarding your acceptance of my affections.

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