Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Cat Lady Pick-Up Lines #1

So, it's been a shitty day.

Nothing in particular, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and have been a total snatch all day. So.... nothing new there.

Anyway, I was thinking it was time to answer the age old question that people keep asking me. 

"Phoebe," they ask, "you must be able to get any man you want! Tell me, how do you do it?"

Well, my friends... I am very smooth. Like a broken piece of balsa wood. Or coarse sandpaper covered in velcro. The men, they come falling at my feet (the minute they find out I'm paying for that last round). In discussion with one of my besties, we decided it was probably time for me to start showing you exactly how I find the amazing men that have graced my history with their presence.

I give you, Part 1 of how this future cat lady pulls in the men:

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Sexy Lines VI

There are times when I look at my dating life and think, "gee... why am I alone?" I can't quite put my finger on it most of the time, I know there are guys out there that want to go out with me. I could probably even find someone stupid enough to date me "long-term", but for some odd reason I keep finding myself going home with my cats.

Along with perusing personal ads, making bad cartoons, and harassing people that want nothing to do with me via text message; I also have a hobby of sitting around and comparing my life to a movie... or at the very least, a TV show. Then I realized that if my dating life was a TV show it would be something along the lines of the bad '90s show "Love Connection."

And that's when the truth of my dating life dawned on me:

 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Sexy Lines Part V

So, as I think about true situations I have found myself in throughout this whole "dating experience", I recall many of the compromises that I've been willing to make to make the object of my affection happy.

You'd be surprised at how close to accurate this might actually be...