Saturday, November 24, 2012

The Honesty! It's Overwhelming!

I've begun to think that one of the big mistakes I've made in my life is to not be more honest with people. We all know what we feel, and yet often we don't tell others, either because we are embarrassed or because we don't want to hurt their feelings. Well, I'm at a point where I feel that my desires must have reasons of their own that I should not question, and my overwhelming desire is to meet a sweet, curvy, pretty, kind woman with really, really big natural breasts. It turns me on in a way nothing else does, and I just have to respect that fact. I want true love, I want to have great sex, I want to have kids some day, and I want to do it with a woman who turns me on like crazy. I don't just want to settle for whoever is nearby, I want what I want. My body knows things that my mind can't understand. I know I should be going on and on about a bunch of personal details, so: I'm tall, caucasian, handsome, look great for my age, have a decent job, educated, in good shape, well-read, and well-endowed. Race, age, eye color, and all that are not super important to me, I'm more interested in finding a sweet woman who is super busty, not uptight, and is ready for a person who is trying to be honest about it. Don't hate! Send a picture. I'll send one back. 

Dear Honest Man,

Gee whiz! Your honesty is amazing! I have been searching far and wide for a man who likes great sex and women with big breasts, especially a combination of the two! I always find men looking for flat-chested prudes. Oh the disappointment! You, on the other hand, are so unique in looking for an attractive, nice woman who is curvy and likes to get down between the sheets, I don't even know what to think about this! I think I need to send you my phone number right now! And a picture... Of my breasts!!!

Another thing I'm constantly let down on is not finding men who are willing to tell me about their penis sizes on their initial dating ad! You are a gem, my friend! An absolute gem! Often I have to beg and plead with strange men on the internet to get a clue about their naughty bits. I never EVER get photos of the male genitalia without first requesting and sometimes bribing the owner of the bits. I am relieved that you are willing to own up to being well-endowed right from the get-go. We XX chromosomes are often so concerned with penis size. It's a known fact that we like to know  your "size" before we know your name or see a picture of your face!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to send you a heartfelt response for your honesty. I am *so* glad you are aware that you are the only man who is honest about these desires and needs you're experiencing. It is a good thing that you are so aware of what we have to deal with all the time. Men pretending they like our personalities, smiles, EYE COLORS (who looks at those anyway?)... what man could possibly mean those words? It is so much better to have a man come out and tell us that he just wants us to be nice, like to fuck, and have big NATURAL breasts! I hope you don't mind that I'm going to be kicking these puppies up the stairs in a few years after gravity takes effect. It happens. Since you're going the natural route, I won't even have the option to do anything about that. Hope you like looking at these babies out of the bra. Once I get anywhere close to your age you're going to be looking closer to my navel than my sternum. Doesn't that sound fun??

I can't wait to finally get rid of all my breast-reducing sports bras I've been forced to wear for the last several years in the hopes of catching a man. 

I look forward to hearing from you,

Your future cat lady

PS... please include proof of your penis size. You may photograph it next to a ruler, or perhaps a vegetable or fruit. I want to be sure you're being honest about your "stature" as well as your desires

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