Saturday, May 26, 2012

I Would LOVE to Draw You!!

Howdie, y'all!! How goes it?

So, here I was, bored at work (again) so I decided to continue my quest for the love of my life. On free internet dating forums, of course... While I was reading the, truly deep, love notes of the XY chromosomes in this city, (like, "Hey baby, wanna do me?"), I found a heartfelt request buried amongst the drivel.

Do you like to draw? Have you ever drawn from a male's body?

I've always fantasized to be a figure drawing model for a woman and to have her draw me in the nude.

I wouldn't feel comfortable modeling in front of a full class of people (like they do in college), but feel like I would definitely enjoy it in a more private setting.

You don't have to be a professional artist. I would prefer if you were a mature woman (35+).

I'm a good-looking, 31-year-old, professional, respectful, Caucasian man.

Are you game?

Dear Future Muse,

I saw your ad this morning and I am soooo excited to write to you! I love to draw! I've never drawn FROM a male's body (I'm not entirely sure what that even entails, honestly, my mind goes to some rather bizarre conclusions from that sentence), but if it involves a complete stranger standing in the buff in my living room, I am totally game! It will be very private, but I hope you don't mind my cat being there... he's nosy (and indoor only).

Your ad is really helping me out with a predicament I've found myself in. Whenever I sit around and try to come up with things to do with my spare time, I'm like, "I know! I'll practice my life-drawing skills! But, how do I get a strange man to come stand naked in my living room?" I mean, why would I want to draw a woman with her curves and natural aesthetic beauty? A 30-something year old man who obviously spends a lot of time on the internet is probably FAR more interesting to look at naked. I'm doubly grateful that you're posting this on a dating site and offering to come over and take your clothes off... because it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to get a man to take his clothes off for me. Especially when I meet him on the internet! Thank GOD I found your post.

I'm also glad you don't mind if I'm not a professional artist, I always get nervous about people judging my work. But, I suppose I could claim "professional"... my stuff has been published!! I mean, I once one an art competition with a splatter painting! (I went above and beyond and outlined the splatters with ink). It gives me great faith in the artistic community when I can throw shit together and be given props for my "deep effort". Sigh... Remind me to tell you the stories of my winning poetry contests while I'm sketching your (I'm presuming) very manly attributes.

Anyway, I took all the information you put out in your ad and put together a preview for you. You know, so you can see the talent that I offer up...

Looking forward to hearing from you!


Future Cat Lady

P.S. Please bring censor bar (I really don't want to see that stuff)

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