Sunday, January 30, 2011

At Last! The Wedgie Slave I've Always Dreamed Of!

Good morning my fabulous readers! (All three of you).

I found something today that made me almost spit coffee all over my desk. That would be an unfortunate situation as I'm surrounded by electronics, but I was willing to risk them to pursue my dream of finding a man to support me in the lifestyle I wish to have my cats become accustomed to. I'm sure there is a man out there for even the most determined of cat ladies. Actually I'm positive if the number of ads that are written by women's "pets" on some of these sites are indicitave of any type of success. Seriously ladies... why don't you just put up a picture of your bed covered in stuffed animals and doilies while you're at it?

I'm here at the car dealership I work at every other weekend, minding my own business and (of course) looking at the internet personal ads. It's fairly rough to browse the personals in between my busy job of answering the phone to tell people that the service department isn't open on the weekends and making coffee. Seriously, I get like four phone calls an hour! How is a girl supposed to concentrate on finding the future man of her life, aka food provider for her cats, if she has to stop for such trivial things like her job. Oh well, such is the life of a single cat lady with two hungry mouths to feed.

Anyway, enough about my exciting lifestyle, on to my most recent prospect for "happily ever after" bliss.

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I am a twenty-something year-old male with an obssession with wedgies, a male who loves it when a woman wedgies me. I am looking for a woman who has a similar quirk to my own, who can dominate me with wedgies, but also give gentle, sensual wedgies as well. If there are any ladies who share this fetish, then please write back. I anxiously look forward to being your wedgie slave. 

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My Dear Future Panty Boy,

The other night, as I sat on my couch drinking gin and tonics and watching high school angst movies, I thought about how much fun it would be to go back to that time. Back to the time when 17 yr olds on steroids ran through the halls screaming at the tops of their lungs and swatting cheerleaders on the rump. When the nerds hacked into the school computers and changed every one's grades. When the drama crew... wait... I think I'm mixing the real version of high school up with what I saw on television. I don't remember any of that. Nor do I remember anyone getting wedgies. I was really missing out!

Don't get me wrong, Panty Boy, the idea of pulling a pair of tighty whities up over the top of your pants so hard the waistband rips and you talk in falsetto for two hours is very arousing to me. I can't believe I never experienced it. In fact, I think I could definitely get into this whole scenario. We could go man-panty shopping for you for our first date. Let's pick out fun patterns and designs. I want you to surprise me with which ones you're wearing when I shove my hand down your pants, grab a handful of your briefs, and jerk them up, how did you say it, gently and sensually. I think we should stick with shades of brown though, just for laundry purposes. I'm sure you know how hard it is to get those stains out. Leopard print might be okay too. The natural one with tans and browns, none of those hot pink ones. That would just be weird.

I am really into this idea of yours, but I was wondering if we could take it a little bit further. You see, I have had the fetish of giving boys wedgies, but in my fantasy it's in a boys' locker room. Something about the smell of cheap cologne and jock straps in the air while I rip cotton briefs up out of someone's pants gets me so turned on. I was wondering if you would mind if I wore football pads and cleats while I'm giving you a wedgie. And, can I shove you in a locker for a while too? Of course I'll let you out of the locker before too long, but only so I can give you a swirly in a toilet I just peed in and hang you by your wedgie off of the hook on the door of the stall afterwards. This would really round out my need to give a wedgie. If you would wear some square glasses held together by tape I think I might marry you. Does any of this sound as erotic to you as it does to me? Because I'm about to go dust off my old yearbook and start setting up my garage in a locker-room motif.

The only thing I'm concerned about with this situation is that you mentioned the fact that you want to be a wedgie "slave." As I'm new to this whole role-playing thing, does that mean that you want wedgies numerous times a day? Like every time you bring me my slippers and a beer I have to tug your undies a bit? Or is it like I had a bad day at work and I come home and take my aggression out on your briefs, and perineum for that matter. Do you have health coverage by the way? Because I'm thinking you might end up needing stitches, or an orchioplasty at some point if we end up doing this frequently. Not that I mind if you don't mind. They're your balls, after all. If you are down I can be down too.

Anyway, Panty Boy, I have to go now. I think I am going to have to go to the hardware store and buy doors with reinforced, steel hooks in them so I can get the proper angle to hang you from without you falling. And I have to have time to get to the sports equipment store so I can grab a bite guard and new helmet pads.

Looking forward to seeing you in the shower room,

Your Future Cat Lady

P.S. Please bring Hanes 3 pack





5 comments:

  1. there is nothing in his post about panties. I think your own fetishes are bleeding through.

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  2. Hahaha! I suppose you could think that. But what I was actually trying to base that off of was by talking about panties after I told him I wanted to take him "man-panty" shopping.

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  3. I am very into this as well may i please get your contact info.

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  4. I am Melvin the little nerdboy, and I would love to be your little panty nerd boy. Maybe you could bring me through the hallways of highschool humiliation, and dominate me with panties on my head and sissy boy leapard panties up my ass in a wedgie with a big jock strap spanking me. You could remind me of what a geek I am and how all the jocks and cheerleaders were all gonna parade me around naked and haze me. thank you. I too live in the bay area.

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  5. wow, what you wrote was incredibly hot. i've always had a bully fetish. a girl who could truly be a bully and do all those things to me, be really mean and make me feel like a total inferior wimp & dork while she laughs hysterically!

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